They say that we build character through adversity.
So if there's anyone out there who could use a little character, I'm sitting on a mountain of the stuff and I'd be happy to share with the entire class.
I've won 11 consecutive head-to-head matchups to open the season, a league-record 19 straight dating back to last season (my math was off in a recent column), secured the No. 1 playoff seeding and a first-round bye, and Drew Brees returns this weekend.
Life should be an endless sea of lobster nachos and ice-cold Coronas at this point, yet I find myself at the helm of a vessel that has sprouted a massive leak and is taking on water at a staggering rate.
While the Week 11 battle was won, the war likely was lost with the loss of Fred Jackson, my second-leading scorer, whose season ended prematurely courtesy of a fractured fibula suffered in last Sunday's 35-8 loss to the Dolphins (this wasn't the birthday gift I had in mind).
Jackson was my surest thing this side of Brees in what has been a wildly unpredictable season, routinely bailing me out of tight contests and ranking among the week's top scorers despite Buffalo quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick's insistence upon steering the Bills into glaciers on a weekly basis since signing his megabucks contract.
So confident was I in thinking that Jackson could carry me to a second straight championship, I merrily sent the underachieving Rashard Mendenhall packing in exchange for new Raiders savior Carson Palmer.
The move helped me skate by in Week 11 without the services of Brees and running mate Marques Colston, but it could cost me dearly in the long run because I'm now rice-paper thin at running back, and nobody is exactly lining up to throw the unbeaten defending champ a bone, or a rusher.
Things could worsen still if the injured Darren McFadden (foot) is ever cleared to play again and the Raiders thank Bush for carrying the load the past month by saving a seat for him at the kids' table (because Oakland coach Hue Jackson is no dummy, I expect Bush to be a major part of the team's offense from here on out, DMC or no DMC).
And as an added bonus, my Lions defense/special teams unit could be without Ndamukong Suh (C'mon, now, who hasn't tried to regain their balance by slamming an opponent's head to the ground three times and stomping on his arm?) in the very near future, which could force me to dust off the Redskins D/ST for a one-night stand.
There's always a puncher's chance with Brees in the fold (oh, for a couple 5-touchdown, 400-yard games in the weeks ahead), but there's not a whole lot more I can ask of the guy ... or of Steve Smith, David Akers and Jason Witten, for that matter.
In other words, I need folks like Colston, Michael Bush and A.J. Green (I need you out there, kid) to go crazy-ape bonkers in the season's final month and for seldom-used reserve back Mark Ingram and recently added wideout Jabar Gaffney to come through with breakthrough performances if their numbers happen to be called.
I have a gut feeling that Ingram will have the game of his brief professional life here very soon, and fantasy owners should note that Gaffney is now option No. 1 in Washington with Rex Grossman back in the QB saddle for the Redskins.
Because Monty Python taught me long ago to always look on the bright side of life and about facing great peril, I will fight the good fight and hope that Brees and Co. can help me find that rainbow connection by playing like animals down the stretch.
The dreamer in me hasn't lost hope. Yet.
MY WEEK 12 LINEUP QB: Drew Brees (Giants); RB: Michael Bush (Bears); WR: Steve Smith (at Colts), Marques Colston (Giants) and A.J. Green (Browns); TE: Jason Witten (Dolphins); D/ST: Lions (Packers); K: David Akers (at Ravens).
Bee fantasy sports columnist Stu Rosenberg can be reached at srosenberg@modbee.com or 578-2300.