ROSENBERG: Can Palmer save it from being Weak 11?

From somewhere south of the land of sky-blue waters — way, way, way down south — it has come.

There will be no tales of feline follies or follicle felonies, no bagging on artists or songs in the key of caca, and my dissertation on cell senescence and cellular oxidation has officially been put on hold.

NFL Week 11 — the egg salad sandwich of doom circled on my calendar months ago — is here, leaving me without my money man and putting my perfect season in the middle of oncoming traffic.

Though I'm 10-0 and the recipient of too many breaks to count (Fred Jackson, Steve Smith, Michael Bush, David Akers, the list goes on), this week will be anything but a Brees ... with Drew, the backbone of my team, sitting this one out.

Luckily, I've had three months to prepare to compete with my strongest hand tied behind my back.

I was already kicking myself for another Pepe Le Pew draft performance when I realized that my top three picks — Brees, Rashard Mendenhall and Marques Colston — all were off in Week 11. Which reminds me — note to self: Pay attention, Shemp.

I knew I had enough depth to survive sans Colston and Mendenhall, but replacing Brees was going to be another story.

Jason Campbell was to serve as Brees' bye-week fill-in. I was OK with Campbell as a one-week substitute but no more and knew I'd be in trouble if anything happened to Brees.

The Plan B script was tossed, however, when Campbell went down in Week 6 — after most sleeper QBs had found homes elsewhere. With few attractive options, it was obvious that trading for a QB was the only way I was going to avoid being stuck with Blaine Gabbert or one of the Hair Bears as my starter.

Enter Carson Palmer.

The Raiders fan in me was excited when the Palmer-to-Oakland trade rumors began heating up before Campbell had even been carted off the field on Oct. 16, while the inner fantasy nerd viewed Palmer as a more exciting option.

And I knew Mendenhall was my ticket to Palmer. Though he had been a miserable failure as a second-round pick and no longer factored into my plans, Mendenhall was my best bargaining chip.

Knowing my younger brother would be the winner of the Palmer lottery, and knowing he happens to be married to a Terrible Towel-waving Steelers fan, I reminded Brendan that I had kept my promise never to tell anyone that his first record purchase was "Make it Big" by Wham! (Oops!), then offered him a straight-up deal for Palmer ... before Palmer had even boarded a plane for Oakland.

Four weeks later, Palmer knows the Raiders' offense, has shaken off the rust and will step in for Brees with a favorable matchup today at Minnesota.

It's easy to grin when your ship comes in, and if Palmer is able to rally the troops to victory in what was supposed to be my Fantasy Armageddon, it will be a swell birthday gift and could signal smooth sailing the rest of the way.

Das lineup — QB: Carson Palmer (at Vikings); RB: Fred Jackson (at Dolphins) and Michael Bush (at Vikings); WR: Steve Smith (at Lions) and Mario Manningham (Eagles); TE: Jason Witten (at Redskins); D/ST: Lions (Panthers); K: David Akers (Cardinals).

Bee fantasy sports columnist Stu Rosenberg can be reached at srosenberg@modbee.com or 578-2300.