Decisions to spend less time with technology and more with people prove difficult to keep for two reasons: cutting back involves negative thinking – doing without – and habits endure. Although younger workers might seem to be more addicted to technology and its gadgets, workers with some experience have been relying on technology’s promises for long periods of time. Addiction can be overcome. However, computers and telephones are ever-present.
Wise beyond his 30 years, Aron Schoenfeld of Long Island’s Do It In Person LLC, teaches people how to communicate away from their computers. He tries to establish technology as a vehicle for identifying in-person opportunities. “Until you meet and shake hands,” he comments, “you don’t have a business relationship. You’re just another person (that individual works) with.” The added bonus of meeting a person, he says, is that you can find out how he prefers to communicate.
Schoenfeld knew that technology wasn’t cutting it when he conducted internal audits with a group of four at a major bookseller. “In the morning,” he says, “my boss would walk by all three of us to get to her cube. She’d never pop in, say hi or anything. The second she sat down, she’d send an e-mail saying, ‘Hi. Good morning. How was your weekend?’” Miscommunication hampered the team, and distrust among those being audited reigned.
For Michael Sick, Marketing and Business Development consultant and writer at Sick Performance Concepts LLC, in San Diego, using technology is ingrained. He began using a computer in 1984. “I’m tied to my computer, e-mail and my iPhone,” he says. “We don’t even think twice anymore.”
What might be missing for people who are overly connected? Edward Hallowell, psychiatrist and author of “Shine” (Harvard Business, $26.95), maintains that it’s “crucial ... to create an emotionally stable, connected environment in the midst of the maelstrom of modern business life ...” Over-relying on technology creates an environment in which “deep thought disappears.” Sick says that he has 10- to 14-hour stretches at his computer, which prompt him to wonder, “Do I have a life or am I part of the equipment?” His global work lures him to his computer.
Both Schoenfeld and Sick are unwilling to unplug. “It’s more of a challenge to keep balance,” Sick points out.
Schoenfeld concurs, conceding that “I’m working toward finding that balance.” That’s why he says to “look at people in the eye. Get a chance to talk to them and understand more than their (online) profile.” That’s also the reason he meets casually with colleagues every six months.
Still, Sick speaks for a lot of people when he says, “I can work late into the evening and every weekend if I want to keep moving on projects. It’s not like the work is ever done in today’s life. Even when you leave a job and leave all of those e-mails and responsibilities behind you, there (is) still a digital personal network. ...”
“We over-rely on electronic connections and find ourselves not developing the trust required to be candid,” Hallowell writes in “Shine.” He recommends beginning by “noticing the other person. ... We live in a world in which people feel more and more unknown. Noticing and saying what you notice lets a person feel known, and can unleash her untapped energy.” Doing so might bring a bit of balance to you.
Dr. Mildred L. Culp welcomes your questions at culp@workwise.net. © 2011 Passage Media.
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