WorkWise: Older boss discriminates against peer

"At age 48," a reader writes, "I'm a manager feeling age discrimination for the first time – and I'm astonished that it's coming from someone close in age. Is this unusual? How can a professional address the issue?" Nancy (not her real name) was passed over for the social media team by a boss in his late 40s or early 50s and called a "digital immigrant ... (not of) the generation that lives and breathes this stuff." Her boss even asked if she uses social media. She does, certain that he didn't pose the same question to the younger team members.

From a legal standpoint, workers enter a protected class at age 40. Peter Cappelli and Bill Novelli, authors of the new "Managing the Older Worker" (Harvard Business School, $29.95), write that one survey of people ages 45 to 71 found that 67 percent "had seen or experienced age discrimination in the workplace." They also footnote a book published in 1998 indicating "that the group most likely to hold negative attitudes toward older adults is actually other older workers themselves."

Cappelli believes that some older workers feel pressured "to conform to 'youthful' norms." He mentions that changing discriminatory behaviors based on age, race or sex is much easier than changing attitudes. Typically, behavioral change comes first.

Tammy Marzigliano, partner at the New York City law firm Outten & Golden LLP., represents plaintiffs only. She mentions that age discrimination "does happen a lot" and that if all of Nancy's colleagues were older workers, Nancy wouldn't have a case. But she might here.

REGAINING CONTROL

When caught in a situation like this, "you may feel out of control," says addiction psychiatrist Harold Urschel, chief medical strategist at EnterHealth LLC., in Dallas. "Anger and frustration, along with feeling that the situation isn't fair, can cause quite a bit of depression and anxiety." Job performance often slides, too, according to "Managing the Older Worker," because of increased stress levels.

The book advocates different ways for managers to do their jobs, including "the way they present expectations and conduct performance reviews." It also maintains that older workers will need "skills and a willingness to accept a new order of things." Meanwhile, people like Nancy want to be their full professional selves. Nancy is wise to fear being perceived as irrelevant as she's denied opportunities when she has 20 more working years to go. What are the options?

Marzigliano, the attorney, advises you not to "allow perception to become the reality. Be qualified or become qualified. Be more boisterous than before when you speak the language. You can say, 'I know Excel, social networking, LinkedIn, Facebook. I can do this work. I don't know what you're doing, Jim, but I know this stuff.' Call (the person) on it, which gives you protection against retaliation. Sometimes you have to say 'discrimination.' That makes it a lot harder to fire you."

Urschel, the psychiatrist, advises you to "look at the demographics of your customers. If they're very young, go to employees in that area and learn new communication styles, which will allow them to feel comfortable with you. Without knowing it, you might be making one social faux pas after another, when you're just being a normal 48-year-old."

Finally, make the most of your relationships. Engage with and take a sincere interest in younger workers as much as possible. Discuss issues they find compelling. Listen to problems for which life experience might offer some solutions. Help them on projects so that when a plum comes up, the teaming is so sincere and so deep that younger workers ask the boss to bring you on board, too.

Dr. Mildred Culp welcomes your questions at culp@workwise.net. © 2010 Passage Media.