About 15 percent to 20 percent of the population is extremely sensitive, according to psychologist Paul Radde of Thrival Systems in Longmont, Colo. Many prefer solitary jobs, such as working on a night desk or as a veterinarian. How do you manage the fragile workers, or manage around them?
FINE LINE
Avoid being a psychologist or social worker. Instead, be a person who keeps the individual on track by focusing on work. Nance Guilmartin, executive coach and business consultant at Boston's Bridgewell Communications, advises you to step back: "Suspend judgment, even if you can't understand why the person is having a hard time, and give the person the benefit of the doubt. You may never learn the source of the sensitivity."
"If the person is a co-worker," Radde says, "the supervisor should ... make it clear to the person that there's a difference between professional practice and personal behavior. Focus on what you have to do with a person, not what your feelings are." Unnecessary accommodation causes problems for the individual and the organization. Walk that fine line.
Erik Van Slyke, founder of The Solleva Group L.L.C., in Princeton, N.J., says that there is a choice -- to engage or disengage. If you choose the former, you must be committed. Choose the latter and disconnect. Co-dependence isn't a positive response or strategy. "Separate the person from the problem," he advises. "Deal with the person, the emotional person, by listening. Deal with the (employment) problem once the person is ready to have a conversation. Create collaborative solutions."
Van Slyke's reference to collaboration is critical. An emotionally fragile person often feels alone and at risk. While you can't (and shouldn't) spend your time "counseling" the individual, creating a sense of collaboration, of the two of you being in this together, helps tear down the wall of loneliness in the professional sphere. Let the warmth impact both of you.
LEGALITIES
There may be potential legal complications when fragility gets in the way. Employment attorney Christopher D'Angelo of Vandenberg & Feliu L.L.P., in New York City, discourages employers from allowing employees to intervene: "Unwitting co-workers or supervisors who are too solicitous or paternalistic may commit discrimination or create a hostile work environment." He points out that, under federal law, assigning "difficult or stressful work assignments" only to other employees might be discriminatory.
"If an employer shies away from giving difficult assignments because of the perception," he explains, "the actions could be viewed as denying the employee certain advantages, terms and conditions for professional advancement." Note the use of "perception."
Radde, the psychologist, would concur. He indicates that indulging the person protects him or her, "only to be punished by not having to engage in the professional practices one needs to know and do." In other words, pseudo-psychologists, dismount.
Radde mentions that the person who hired the employee is ultimately responsible, because that individual was to assess the person's "capability." D'Angelo confirms, of course, that not hiring the person only because of the disability or the perception of it would have been discriminatory.
"If the personal behavior is such that they start to shake and shout, instead of being able to remain focused on the particular practice," Radde observes, "they're not engaging in professional practice, which is what they're getting paid for. The more highly sensitive hide out. They need to confront their fears."
While HR might be obtaining EAP services for the individual, you still have work to do. Create a safe professional environment filled with positive feedback and openness about work that must be done. Let one plus one equal sweet victory.
Dr. Mildred L. Culp welcomes your questions at culp@workwise.net. Copyright 2010 Passage Media.
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