Vasché: Not going to take it? Fine, but no need to get rude about it

A recent conversation with a very disgruntled and very angry reader brought to my mind a line from "Network." At a key moment in the 1976 film, actor Peter Finch's character, Howard Beale, shouts the classic words: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"

Lots more people seem to be thinking, saying and in some cases acting out those words these days. Even if you never, ever utter the "h" word, deep down inside you may be feeling that way.

There's no doubt the stresses and strains of the economy have stirred up people's emotions and intensified their reactions. But don't blame today's troubles alone for the growing anger.

Little by little, we have become coarser and less civil. Not every individual, of course, but in general as a society we've become increasingly harsh, disrespectful and rude.

Here at The Bee, we've seen growing evidence of that over the past several years in complaints directed at us by phone or e-mail; in comments directed at others in letters to the editor; and, in this new digital age, especially in responses and reactions attached to stories on modbee.com.

All too often, rather than civil discourse and polite "with all due respect" disagreements and discussions, we see name-calling and personal attacks, rumor-mongering and deliberate distortions of the truth, and worse.

Then there are the most offensive of all, the hateful, bigoted and obscene comments that come our way.

Just as the give-and-take on television and radio talk shows has become increasingly shrill and shocking, in an apparent effort to attract and keep audiences, so it seems many of our day-to-day interactions are becoming more outrageous and obnoxious. In the end, no good can come out of that.

Thankfully, though, I'm also reminded on an almost daily basis that there are plenty of people who want to share their comments, concerns and criticisms in rational, respectful ways. Unfortunately, many of them are unwilling to enter the wider discussion because of the coarseness and incivility of the dialogue. Even the best among us, though, have those moments where the heat of the moment gets the better of our emotions and our mouths.

Thus, it's important to remember that when it comes to having meaningful discussions, to achieving understanding, to creating consensus and to building unity, respect always, always, always trumps rudeness.

That's true whether you're talking about dealing with the newspaper or your next door neighbor, the store clerk or your spouse, the boss or your best friend. That's true whether you're having a minor difference or a major disagreement.

And that's true whether you're only slightly upset or you're feeling, like the make-believe Howard Beale, "mad as hell and you're not going to take it anymore."

Vasché, The Bee's editor and senior vice president, can be contacted at mvasche@modbee.com. But remember, don't be rude.